Articles
Speak the Truth in Love
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But, speaking the truth in love, [we] may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ . . . (Eph. 4:15 )
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In this verse, Paul provides a simple formula for spiritual growth as a community of believers. This formula involves three essential elements, all of which must be present to work effectively. Let's start with the first element and build upon it. First, we must . . .
Speak. Communication is the foundation of every relationship. We must be willing to talk to our brethren. Not only words of encouragement and comfort, but frank words that may be difficult to speak; words that might cause pain or discomfort; words that we would just as soon avoid. "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed" (Prov. 27:5), and love requires that we open our hearts to those we love. But it is not enough just to speak, we must also . . .
Speak the truth. Not lies. Not flattery. Not squishy half-truths. Nor do we speak to slander or defame. If truth is the key to personal freedom (Jn. 8:32), then we must take care to speak the truth to (and about) one another. Only in a relationship in which people are being honest with each other can we gain an accurate knowledge of what we are doing right and where we need to make improvements. But even the truth can be destructive if it is administered in the wrong way, so we must also . . .
Speak the truth in love. Of the three components, this one is the hardest. The truth must be packaged in such a way that the hearer can see our genuine regard for their wellbeing. It must be presented in a spirit of love and goodwill. We are not trying to win a battle or put somebody in their place. We care. We want to help. We want to build up, to strengthen, to make better. But that requires that we wield the truth like a surgeon's scalpel, with finesse and precision.
Remove any one of these elements, and disaster is the likely outcome. If we have the truth, but are silent to those who are headed on the path to hell, their blood will be on our head. If we lovingly speak only what makes others feel good, rather then the truth they need to hear, we are party to falsehood. If we speak the truth, but in a manner that belittles the hearer, we are abusing God's gift.
Speaking the truth in love is vital to our spiritual growth. May we all commit ourselves to learning how to do it well.
--David
